Published by Little, Brown and Company on 30 May 2017
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Grief-stricken over his partner’s death, Gavin sets fire to every physical reminder in the couple’s home. A neighbour captures the ordeal on video, turning this unsung TV actor into a household name. Now, Gavin is fleeing the hysteria of Los Angeles for New Jersey, hoping to find peace with the family of an old friend. Instead, he finds Joan.
Joan, the family’s ten-year-old daughter, was born with the rare ability to recall every day of her life in cinematic detail. In seconds, she can tell you how many times her mother has uttered the phrase “it never fails” in the last six months (27) or what she was wearing when her grandfather took her fishing on a particular Sunday in June years ago (fox socks). Joan has never met Gavin until now, but she did know his partner, Sydney, and waiting inside her uncanny mind are half a dozen startlingly vivid memories to prove it.
Gavin strikes a deal with Joan: in return for sharing all her memories of Sydney, Gavin will help Joan win a local songwriting contest she’s convinced could make her unforgettable. The unlikely duo sets off on their quest until Joan reveals unexpected details about Sydney’s final months, forcing Gavin to question not only the purity of his past with Sydney but the course of his own immediate future.
I appreciated how this book had LGBTQIA+ representation without making it a character's whole identity. LGBTQIA+ people are people and have identities outside of their sexual orientation. They have stories. And you're going to have to read this book to to discover Gavin and Joan's.
People have all kinds of reasons for why they don’t remember. They blame it on their batteries dying, or their ears not hearing right, or just being too busy, or too old, or too tired. But really it’s because they don’t have enough room inside their boxes. When I was turning five, Mom bought me a box for all my art. She was fed up with me leaving my drawings and projects around the house. She told me to choose which pieces were most important because there wasn’t enough room in the box to keep everything. That’s how it is with people’s brains. There’s only enough room for the most important memories and the rest gets thrown away. When I’m the thing that gets thrown away, because I’m not important enough, it’s hard not to get the blues like John Lennon on The White Album when he sings, I’m lonely and I wanna die.
I immediately fell in love with Joan. She’s so pure! I loved that this book used simple words, but the ways in which they were used, man, they made you feel things. I think many of us can relate to not wanting to be forgotten. For some of us, it may be a selfish reason; some of us crave the attention. For some of us, it may be an existential reason; what is our purpose and how do we do something that matters? For Joan, it’s simple. She’s a girl who remembers everything. But when she remembers everything and the rest of the world can’t, it’s a lonely feeling.
But then I realized, it’s not people’s fault that they have crappy brains. That’s what reminders are for. Mom never forgets to pay the bills because she has a reminder on her calendar. And Dad remembers to put new batteries in our smoke alarm only because it starts beeping. And no one forgets Martin Luther King because he has his own holiday every year. It works the same way with songs. Everyone remembers John Lennon, even Grandma, because his songs are reminders. My song is going to be a reminder to everyone that they should keep me in their brainboxes, and I have less than two weeks to finish it.
So there’s the heavy stuff. Joan, being forgotten. Gavin, widowed. But there’s also so much love and light and life.
I don’t know if I can wait that long because waiting is the worst thing ever invented.
Okay so maybe talking about the “worst thing ever invented” isn’t the happiest thing to say, but it made me smile when I read it. When I was little, there were a lot of things that were the worst things ever invented. I repeat, Joan is so pure!!
Now I’ve said a lot about Joan, but I think that I’m more of the Gavin in this story, and this book was my Joan. Growing up, many of us lose our childlike wonder; it's something we could all do with a little more of. Joan was that. We all need more Joans in our lives.
This book was one of my favourite books of 2017. It has humour, it has pain, it has existential crises, it has art, it has... life.
